Daventry MP Chris Heaton-Harris has serious job of saving the Prime Minister's skin but he sure likes a titter on Twitter

New government chief whip is renowned for his bad 'dad' jokes

By Kevin Nicholls
Wednesday, 9th February 2022, 10:48 am
Updated Wednesday, 9th February 2022, 10:50 am

If Chris Heaton-Harris can't get Tory backbenchers back on Boris Johnson's side, he'll still be able to give them a laugh.

The Daventry MP, arch-Brexiteer, football fan and local leagues referee is renowned for his 'dad' jokes on Twitter.

Mr Heaton-Harris, aged 54, has been a Northamptonshire MP since 2012 but yesterday (February 8) landed the plum job as government chief whip.

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Chris Heaton-Harris enjoys a joke on social media

He has been trusted by the Prime Minister to marshal Conservative MPs during the most hazardous period of his political career.

It's all a bit more full-on than his time as transport minister last year, when he regularly took to Twitter attempting to lighten the mood.

Here are some of his best — or worst — attempts:

■ Which Olympic track and field event generates the most conversations? Discus.

■ For my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap. Drum roll please...

■ My mate is in hospital having swallowed two Lego horses. They say he's in a stable condition.

■ My mate spent three years studying for a ballet degree and all he got was a 2:2.

■ What breed of dog does magic tricks? A Labracadabrador.

■ How do astronomers organise a party? They planet.

■ Just played 'silent tennis'... it's like normal tennis, but without the racquet.

■ What do you call a train made out of bubble gum? A chew-chew train.

■ How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs.

■ What is a Timelord's least favourite side dish? Dalek bread.

■ My mate's just started work in a high-end chess piece factory where every employee concentrates their efforts on one piece at a time. He's working the Knight shift.

■ My mate thought about being a motivational speaker, but talked himself out of it.

■ Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.