Northamptonshire charity joins forces with national charity to provide greater support to families of disabled children

A Northamptonshire charity that provides emotional support to parents of severely ill or disabled children has partnered with Together for Short Lives, the country’s leading charity for children's palliative care, to offer more support to families.

Through their collaboration, Together for Short Lives refers and directs more families to Daventry-based charity Harry’s Pals, which offers free counselling, therapy, respite breaks, and a mentoring service.

The small charity has been working hard to overcome the gap in emotional support faced by parents throughout the country.

The founder of Harry’s Pals, Hayley Charlesworth, from Newnham, officially launched the charity on April 11, 2022.

The 39-year-old said: “It's going from strength to strength. The support we’ve been receiving has been absolutely incredible. People really got behind it.

"We’ve been increasing our network to support more families but the main thing for us now is to build our resources to offer the support.“

Harry’s Pals provides emotional support to parents whose children have been diagnosed as severely ill or disabled.

Hayley wanted to use her personal experiences with the lack of emotional support, that had a significant impact on her, to make a change.

“I think parent care is really overlooked and we need to do more to support them and encourage them to get the support themselves. People need that support in the first few weeks or months. It has a big impact on yourself and the family,” said Hayley.

Harry's Pals assists families in a variety of ways, the main strand of support being free counselling or therapy sessions with a practitioner who is appropriate for the parent's needs. The guidance provides parents with the opportunity to improve their mental health and become more resilient and empowered to confront the challenges that await them and other members of their family.

Parents are referred to the charity from hospitals, hospices, local councils, NHS workers such as health visitors, and other charities.

In July 2023, the charity partnered with Together for Short Lives, a national charity for families who have children with life-threatening and life-limiting conditions.

“It's a really good partnership because Together for Short Lives has been around for a long time. It's fantastic for us to be working with them, and it's clearly beneficial for the charity because they get to offer another strand of support,” said Hayley.

The national charity welcomed Harry's Pals' offer and has been referring and directing parents to them for assistance.

“The charity doesn't have a service that provides free counselling. They would have to refer people to general practitioners. That in itself implies so many barriers. People are put on a referral list with long waiting times, and then they get whoever they’re allocated. A lot of the times they’re not even right to meet the needs of the parents,” said Hayley.

Harry’s Pals was named after Hayley’s son, eight-year-old Harry Charlesworth. In March 2015, Harry suffered significant brain damage caused by several strokes prior to being born, leaving him with many complex needs. His parents, Hayley and Andy, were informed of his diagnosis when Harry was just three days old.

“When Harry was born, it definitely had a huge impact on our mental health because we were trying to process what happened. There were so many different mixed feelings. We were afraid for the future.

“I really struggled with my mental health, and my entire family was trying to find support for us,” said Hayley.

Hayley hoped that the family would be assigned some emotional support or they would be able to find help online. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and the family’s mental health and ability to cope suffered greatly as a result.

“We looked at different charities but none of them actually offered the support we needed. That had such a detrimental impact on us because we felt very isolated.

“We just wanted to speak to people who have been in a similar situation and get help to process the anxiety and all the different emotions, but there was no help available,” said Hayley.

Hayley has reflected on the impact being able to talk with someone would have made over the years, and she has been devastated by the reality that parents are battling with no one to support them through what is every parent's greatest fear.

“When Harry was six years old, my mum had a meeting with a therapist and the therapist offered to speak to me. It made such a big difference. She provided me with coping mechanisms and helping tools so when situations did arrive, I learned how to best deal with my emotions and understand them,” said Hayley.

Hayley, determined to make a difference, set plans in motion to help families like hers receive the support they need, including working with trustees.

“I think if we would've got that support sooner, we would’ve learned how to cope a lot better,” said Hayley.

Throughout the year, the small charity helped more than 40 families, even though its resources are restricted because it mostly accepts location-based recommendations. Donations can be made on Harry's Pals JustGiving page to support the charity serve more families around the country.

“At the moment, we’re supporting more than 23 families, but as funds pick up we’ll be able to support more families,” said Hayley.

Harry’s Pals charity is set to hold two events this year. People can join a comedy night at the Mercure Court Hotel, in Daventry, on September 15 and a charity dinner at Skylarks farm, in Staverton, on Saturday, November 4. Tickets can be booked on the charity’s website.